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TIME: Almanac 1995
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TIME Almanac 1995.iso
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100791
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1007471.000
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1994-03-25
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<text id=91TT2233>
<title>
Oct. 07, 1991: If Scarlett Sequel Fever Caught On
</title>
<history>
TIME--The Weekly Newsmagazine--1991
Oct. 07, 1991 Defusing the Nuclear Threat
</history>
<article>
<source>Time Magazine</source>
<hdr>
BOOKS, Page 73
What If Scarlett Sequel Fever Caught On?
</hdr><body>
<p> THE SUN ALSO SETS
</p>
<p> Jake Barnes, the emasculated expatriate hero of Ernest
Hemingway's classic, is the beneficiary of a breakthrough
operation in the romantic world of Paris in the '20s. With the
help of supplemental hormones, Jacqueline Barnes goes on to
become a suffragist and campaigner against alcoholism.
</p>
<p> THE NEXT TO THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS
</p>
<p> In this politically correct prequel, Hawkeye displays the
Eurocentric tendencies to hunt and waste. Local Native Americans
lecture him on ageism, gender bias, affirmative action and
ecological consciousness until he has a nervous collapse,
jettisons his rifle and opens a frontier health-food store.
</p>
<p> MOBY-DICK II
</p>
<p> The whale is hunted down by the great-great-grandson of
Captain Ahab, Lieut. General Ahab. Backed by the United Nations,
Ahab blasts Moby Dick out of the water. From a land base, the
intransigent mammal denies U.N. inspectors the right to see his
spout, suggesting that Moby-Dick III may be on the way.
</p>
<p> THE AQUAMARINE LETTER
</p>
<p> Nathaniel Hawthorne's Scarlet Letter in a fashionable
shade for the '90s. The lovely and willful heroine, Hester
Prynne, who was once doomed to wear A for adultery, finds
happiness and fulfillment with one of Boston's first sex
therapists. Her performance proves to be so outstanding that she
is awarded an A+.
</p>
<p> THE ROTH
</p>
<p> A Kafkaesque novel that owes much to the author of
Portnoy's Complaint. A shapely female breast finds itself
metamorphosed into a best-selling novelist named Philip Roth.
The bewildered Roth is condemned to a modern version of hell:
an endless series of appearances on Geraldo, Oprah and Donahue.
</p>
<p> J. PIERPONT FINN
</p>
<p> In the post-Civil War boom, Mark Twain's child-man reveals
his real name. Arrested in a stock swindle, the rising robber
baron escapes from jail with the aid of Jim, nonstop talker and
former slave, who has shrewdly invested in Thomas Edison's
recording machine and become the founding grandfather of rap.
</p>
</body></article>
</text>